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Something I Was Working on Earlier... - Serious Authors

Dec. 27th, 2004

11:17 pm - Something I Was Working on Earlier...

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Here's something I was working on earlier.   Just bear in mind that writing for me these days consists of just putting down on paper whatever comes into my head.  No "real" works have come into existence...yet.


“You want to be a published writer; you want people to see the books, the poems, or the whatever else you’ve written…but you don’t want the spotlight and the fame.”


One looked at Two with a mix of utter disbelief and weird contempt.

“Well why in hell not?!  Besides…it kinda COMES WITH THE TERRITORY LAST TIME I CHECKED!!!”

“I want to bring encouragement and the gospel to people…and I think I can do it best through writing.  You know, I was always better on paper than in an interview or even in one-on-one conversation…so why not stick with what I’m good at?  Besides, I don’t care if the whole world wants to meet me one day at a book signing.  I don’t want to deal with all the other junk: the interviews, the book signings, and all that junk.”

“Okay…then what about using a fake name and never being interviewed?  Would that work for you?”

“No…not really,” Two said after taking the time to think about it.

One was about to lose it completely.  “And why in God’s name not?!”

“Because it’s too cowardly.  Do I want attention? No.  Do I want to be reclusive, eccentric, or downright misanthropic?  Nope!”

“You are ridiculously unbelievable!”

“And you’re just a pain in the ass!”

One could have died of a stroke right then and there after hearing Two let profanity come out of her mouth.  Two never—and I mean never—cussed unless it was really bad (we’re talking nervous breakdown type of bad)!

“You just cussed.”

“Yeah, I know, now GET OVER IT!!!”

“You just cussed.”

“Can we move beyond that, please?  Yes, I cussed, so get over it!  It’s not like I didn’t know how to do it or anything…I just don’t do it that much.”

“So what made you do it now?”

“I’m tired of you.”


“Yes, you?”

“Funny…I was beginning to feel the same thing.”

“Holy crap! We’re on the same page! Someone alert the media!”

“Could we spare the sarcasm?”

“Sorry.  Some habits die hard…what can I say?”

“How about telling me why you think I’m a pain in the ass.”

“Because I have to live up to you…that’s why?”

For once, One was actually stunned silent.

“Don’t even give me that shocked look…because I know you understand where I’m coming from with this.  You always make it look so easy to everyone else…and you know it.  Meanwhile, while you’re making it look so easy to the world and strutting around like you have it all together, I’m just trying to hold it together!  Just once, I’d love to feel about as confident, self-controlled, and … as you act!  That’s the problem I have.”



[User Picture]
Date:December 29th, 2004 07:55 pm (UTC)
The last paragraph seems out of place. There's not enough dialogue or commentary to get the reader there. It's too far of a logical leap to make. Also, characters sound like the same person. Thich is ok if you are writing a first person type narrative, but there isn't enough to support that here. I know it's really rough, but those are the two things that i think need the most work. The grammar was a little annoying too, it wasn't wrong or bad, just really different than the way i have characters speak. That's just stylistic different, fret not over it.
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